I'm having problems with being a pastor

I'm having problems with being a pastor. Not with self-identity or ministry. With the word as a 'designation'. Forgive me, but I suspect it is usually used in a way quite foreign to Scripture. I mean, 'senior pastor', 'associate pastor', assistant pastor .......   What's all that about?

i suspect it is, albeit unwittingly, about power. Influence. Who calls the shots. Which is strange, when Jesus is about renunciation of status and repudiation of self-assertion.

I like the old word. The word everyone used in Scotland, until the mid-20th century. Minister. Minister, as in servant. Minister, as in self-giving and attentive to the commands of the master and the needs of the people. Yes. I want to be, quite simply, a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Apostle, prophet, evanglist, pastor, teacher?

I'll let others decide on what extra name-tags might apply.

You don't send midwives mothers' day cards *

So, what is the 'fruitfulness of your ministry'? I confess, I weary at listening to this being explained in terms of my 'productivity' or my 'success'. My problem stems from what the Bible has to say.

Fruitfulness, in the Biblical sense, is tied up with character and Christlikeness, rather than accomplishment and quantity.

In John's writing, the story of the vine in John 15 highlights not only the shaping and forming of a plant that can bear good fruit, but the very fact that the source of the fruitfulness is God and God alone. Productivity is God's, not ours.

In Paul, fruitfulness in ministry is about God's fruitfulness in and through us: The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control ......  . These are all relational attributes, reflecting the character of a life in harmony with God Himself. They are the marks of a person who is being carved into the likeness of Christ.

When Paul talks about 'saving some' (1 Corinthians 9.22), it is in the context of his humbling himself to be in the place where God might work through him, a sentiment echoed in the great hymn celebrating Christ's example, in Philippians 2. The best we can manage is to die with Christ, that we might be raised in Him.

The Bible knows nothing about the 'fruit of your ministry'. So acknowledge that God alone causes fruit to arise. And that, not because of you, but despite you and your ego, insecurity and thirst for self-vindication. Every advance of God's Kingdom comes because of God's sheer grace. Because the Gospel is about His grace and His grace alone.

So please seek intimacy with God. Walk in integrity. Reach out in relationships of love. Speak gently the wonderful news of Jesus our Saviour. But please, please stop talking about the fruitfulness of your ministry. Concentrate on the fruitfulness, within you and others around you, of His alone.

 *  thanks to David Fraser for this wonderful line.